Oh Deer!

Yesterday could easily be summed up as the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" for me! It was that plus a lot more! The day started off wonderfully, with no hint of the things that were to come later in the afternoon.

Sleep in, snuggle with kids in chair, take a long shower, hang out at mom's for a little bit, go to the ranch for lunch and to drop kids off....this is where the good things end!

1:53 - Head back to town to attend wedding shower
1:57 - doe and fawn leap out of trees and onto hood of my car
1:57:15 - what the heck just happened!
1:57:30 - get out of car and check damages
1:58 - look at cell phone and see ZERO bars
1:58:10 - debate about walking to top of hill to make call (this means walking past the mortally wounded but not dead yet deer)
1:58:30 - decide to just try phone from current location, then proceed to hill if necessary
1:58:40 - Miraculously call goes through immediately - (remember to thank God over and over again for this tiny bit of goodness today because it's 106 degrees and I have on flip-flops. It's a good 4 miles back to the ranch)
1:59 - explain that I hit a deer and I need someone to come finish her off and to pick me up (should have mentioned how hot it was)
2:06 - what in the world could be taking this long...it's hot and this doe is suffering almost as much as I am
2:07 - oh yeah, I'm sure everyone is coming to my rescue and they had to get the pistol and oh yeah - they never get in a hurry to do anything....I should haven't told Janis I was okay, I should have said I think I broke my leg and I was bleeding from my stomach! Bet they would have been here at least one minute sooner!
2:08 - I sure wish I had a bottle of water in the car and that my legs would stop shaking...finally they come over the hill.
2:09 - Rodney gets out to finish off the deer and is patiently waiting for Jeremy to pull up so the kids don't have to witness the end of the suicide/murder first-hand
2:09:30 - Rod finally motions for Jeremy to move on, because Jeremy doesn't get the idea
2:10 - Jeremy gets out of pick-up and immediately wants to know why I drove another 50 yards from where I hit the deer - (am I crazy or would "are you sure your okay? I'm glad you weren't hurt" have been totally inappropriate to ask at this time).
2:15 - check out damages and decide to take it back to ranch to R.I.P.!
2:30 - call insurance company to make claim and polite woman asks if I'm okay (she gets it, but my husband still doesn't!)
2:45 - finish up phone call and decide to head back to town
2:50 - get all stuff out of saturn and head to town in Janis's car
3:15 - headed home on county line road, going slow, when baby calf pops up out of ditch and heads straight for me
3:15:05 - I start saying, "Please don't let me hit a calf, I am not going to hit a calf...I can't believe I just hit a calf" _ YES you read that correctly! Okay, so the real story is that I was almost completely stopped and the calf actually ran into me this time.
3:15:30 - I pull over once again to inspect damages. Upon first glance I see nothing, then I realize that maybe he hit the mirror. I honestly don't remember him hitting the car, but when I looked in my mirror he was limping, so I am assuming somehow he got ran over, maybe his foot or something..anyhoo...
3:16 - place call to ranch to let them know that I have had contact with yet another animal, but the car appears to be fine (mentally i am preparing for my in-laws to hate me forever).
3:18 - flag down pick up to see if he knows who calf might belong to...manage to keep myself together long enough to have civilized conversation.
3:20 - call Jeremy back to tell him who calf might belong to and see if he can make the call because I am coming apart at the seams
3:21 - on the verge of panic attack because I still have 5 miles left to drive home.
3:30 - arrive at home in a mess of tears
3:30:05 - get out of car and once again look for damage...see some damage to the fender and start to break down again
3:35 - call Jeremy to tell him I made it home without hitting anything else and tell him about fender damage.
4:10 - Janis calls back to say fender damage was done by Rodney two weeks ago -- Hallelujah! another miracle, no damage to the second car

Wow, when you look at it like that it seems like it took a lot longer than it really did! Keep in mind as your reading this that I managed to hit both a deer and a bovine within an hour and 15 minutes! I am thinking about submitting to Genius book of world records, because I seriously doubt this feat has ever been accomplished before!

So the bad news is that my third child (aka the Vue) is currently out of commission for an undetermined amount of time, which means that most likely I will be driving my in-laws suburban. While this is a bonus to have something to drive, it is rather noisy, the air conditioner is sketchy, and it doesn't hold the same appeal as my Vue. I intended to take pics today when we returned the car, but a change of plans has meant that the pics will have to wait until tomorrow (i'll post tomorrow evening) But, just so you have some idea, 3 out of 4 lights simply disappeared somewhere yesterday! The lonely one left is hangin' on by a thread!

The good news is that

• I wasn't seriously injured...I am sore today, but nothing permanent.
• The kids weren't with me.
• the airbag didn't go off - this is another amazing miracle. I think the only thing that saved me from that was that the doe jumped and I hit her mid-air.
• My cell phone worked in a place that it will probably never work again in my lifetime.
• It's an amazing story to tell and one that will probably far out-live me!
• The calf wasn't seriously injured...i don't think anyways.
• And most importantly is that jeremy now understands the gravity of asking me whether or not I am okay before grilling me about my driving techniques!

Happy Sunday to you!