I have lots on my mind these days.  Lots of things I would like to post here, but too afraid of offending my readers.  HAHA! Torn between who cares if they get mad because this blog is for me not them and still wanting it to be a place people want to come to.

So, that being said I will start with the one thing I feel will probably be the least controversial {and watch, I will be proven WRONG!}. 

If you are reading this and you are a mother I think you will most likely relate.  You have days where you wonder why on earth God ever thought you fit to be a mother, right?  I know that I do.  Being a mom is all I have wanted to be and do for as long as I can remember, and now that I am, I wonder on a daily basis if I am doing it right.  And if that wasn't bad enough, there are more than enough people out there to make you feel bad about the job you are doing.  You know the kind of people I mean.  The ones who say, "Oh great idea, but you should do this instead."  Who look at you like you are crazy when you share what you thought was the best idea you have had in awhile.  The people who, when your kids says something offhanded during church, turn around in the pew and give you the "I can't believe your little darling just said that" look.  {I am not referring to anyone in particular in our church, just an example, lest someone try to figure out who I am talking about, LOL!}

I listen to Focus on the Family during the mornings while I work in the church office and the past two days {Mon & Tues} they have been talking with Jill Savage, founder of Hearts at Home.  It was a very interesting and rather comforting discussion for me.  She made me feel so much better about my kids not being happy all the time.  That sounds bad, but the point is that the goal of being a mother is not to have HAPPY kids.  The goal of motherhood is to raise self-sufficient, capable, hard-working, God-fearing, polite, respected adults.  And to do that your children have to experience some pain and disappoint every once in awhile.  It's the whole roots and wings principle

“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: One is roots, the other is wings.”

Right now I am in the ROOTS stage of mothering and it is definitely the harder stage {at least I think so, I haven't reached the wings stage yet!}.  Now is the time when lessons have to be learned and minds have to be molded.  Later when it is time to give them wings, I hope that I feel confident that I have equipped them to FLY!!

In the meantime, I don't need other people telling me how or what or why.  As a mother, I know you feel the same way.  You {and I} know what our shortcomings are.  We know where we struggle.  We want to do better, we always feel like we fall short of the mark.  You {the one sharing your "insights"} telling us or showing us or implying those things for us, do us no good!  As women, we should be supporting one another.  Lifting each other up.  Helping each other to spread the wings WE have been given.

I am not saying that when you see something potentially harmful or dangerous you should turn the other cheek, but let's don't bash one another for the everday, simple things we all do.  You never know what is going on behind the scenes, so please don't think you know best.  Just because you see my kids eating a candy bar, don't assume that I let them eat that all the time.  Just because you see us participating in a secular holiday tradition, don't assume they aren't being led by the Holy Ghost.

I am NOT perfect, I know I never will be.  I don't claim to be.  I don't WANT to be.  Think of the pressure that would entail.  Only one person has ever been perfect and it cost Him his life.  You are not perfect, you never will be.  So I think it is a relief to know that even though that's what we strive for, we are offered grace and mercy because we were created to fall short of the mark.

God understands that we will fall down, make mistakes, sin, but he created us, knowing full well just how far we would fall short of the goal.  BUT, he loved us no less.  SO, we should love each other in this same manner.  Let's all try to STOP thinking we know best regarding other mothers and their parenting styles.  We all love our children unconditionally.  We all do GREAT things for and with our kids.  We all make MISTAKES.  We are all exactly the type of mothers our children need us to be...our Creator made us specifically for the children we have.  PLEASE, remeber this when you get the urge to judge another mother for what she is or isn't doing!!



Becky said...

Oh Sara! I have done this. I was really bad before I had kids. You know..."wow--my children will NEVER throw a fit like that in a store." "My kids won't have a binky" "My kids won't ever sleep in our bed." HAHAHA Then, when he was about 2 and having a MAJOR meltdown, Tristen threw green beans at me in the grocery store. With his binky in his mouth. After he had crawled out of OUR bed that morning. =-) I try not to judge. I wouldn't want someone to judge me when I've had a bad day and snap at my boys in public or when Jake wears "cool" clothes to school that make me cringe.
I am really thinking about what you said about God making our children JUST for us. I love it. I've often wondered why God would give me 2 boys who are TOTALLY different in EVERY way. Black and white doesn't even touch it. It's hard to parent when they both have such different needs. But I guess he thought I was up for the challenge. ;)
Anyway, you've given me a lot to think about on this Friday morning. Thank you.

Rhonda said...

Thanks for all you wrote about, Sara! It's quite a path to be on, to be a mother. All of us can use all the ENCOURAGEMENT we can get. :) You and your family have a great weekend! Christ is risen!

Cindy said...

God leads you to it and he will lead you through it. Be it good or challenging...you are doing a fantastic job with you children, and I enjoy seeing them with such joyful, shining faces. The light of God shines through!